Bill and Ted playing in the snow - Picnik closing down

Bill and Ted playing in the snow, a photo by Bev & Paul Mynott on Flickr.

This is a photograph taken in 2010, but we have added snow and a frosty frame using Picnik. Unfortunately, Google has decided to close down the Picnik site, which is a shame because it was great for fun effects, adding frames to photographs, and doing photo-editing on the go!
Shame on you, Google - why close down such a great site, unless of course you are trying to force us to use Picasa instead of Flickr.
RIP Picnik - you will be geatly missed.

Inspector Drake's Last Case

We all went to see "Inspector Drake's Last Case" being performed by the Redbourn Players on Friday evening, and what a great time we all had!
"Inspector Drake's Last Case" is an Agatha Christie spoof written by David Tristram.  The main characters are Inspector Drake and his sidekick, Sergeant Plod, who investigate a murder, interviewing a number of characters with confusing names like Cook the Gardener and Butler the Guest.  Inspector Drake calls the characters by completely different, humorous names each time he speaks to them, for example referring to Gardener, the Cook as Mrs Gargoyle or Mr Guest, the Butler as Mr Gonad!  Absolutely hilarious, though as the plot was far too complicated for a little bear of no brains, I just enjoyed the humorous dialogue and great acting!
The cast were all brilliant, especially Andy Turner as Inspector Drake - he has such a great voice and commanding presence that he was just perfect in the role.  David Howell as Sergeant Plod was great too, as were all the other characters.  This was definitely a play with strong male characters, all of whom were cast really well.  But the female characters had little to do except stand around and look pretty, which was a shame as we know they can act their socks off!
This was yet another brilliant production from the Redbourn Players!

And the evening was topped off with coffee at Ruth and Clive's before we wended our weary way home in the wee small hours of the morning!

TV Rant!

We were sitting watching Downton Abbey on Sunday evening (yes, we bears love a good historical drama), when two things began to irritate us - firstly, the number of ad breaks during the program and secondly, the number of adverts that use crap music to sell their even crappier products!

Ok, so follow my logic here - if you watched TV for 24 hours a day, you would be subjected to hours and hours of the same piece of music.  And everyone considers this to be ok (showing the adverts, not watching TV 24/7, that is)!  But if you put someone in prison and played the same music over and over to them, it would be called torture!  And torture it is - if I hear one more rendition of "Go Compare", "Confused.com" or hear building society staff trying to sing some awful tune, I will throw one of Tony's boots at the TV and write to my MP to say this is contravening my bear-rights!  Oh, and I'm not going to purchase any products from companies who make these shit adverts!

The bears and Tony enjoy the warm weather

Teddy Bears' Picnic, a photo by Bev & Paul Mynott on Flickr.

Us bears and Tony went to Ashridge Park for a picnic as the weather has been so warm and sunny. We took sandwiches, lashings of ginger beer, a box of profiteroles and crisps - scrummy! We then had a snooze before playing in the woods!

Our Holiday at Home July 2011: Hamish, Bill and Harry the Helmsman on a Norfolk beach

Hamish, Bill and Harry the Helmsman on a Norfolk beach, a photo by Bev & Paul Mynott on Flickr.

Our week's holiday ended with a lovely trip to a Norfolk beach for us bears, Bev and Paul. We brought Harry the Helmsman with us in case we needed to be rescued - you can never be too careful near the sea, and look at those waves!

Easy Rider, bear-style

Easy Rider, bear-style, a photo by Bev & Paul Mynott on Flickr.

Hamish and Bill racing on their tricycles at the farm - Bill looks to be winning, but you should never dismiss Hamish until the chequered flag goes down!

Life on the Farm, Part 2

Life on the farm is good, with us bears and Tony having lots of fun playing in the fields and woods around the house.  As you know, Tony discovered a couple of trikes and some chairs in the shed, so we have been spending a lot of time out on our bikes - here is a photograph of Tony and myself on one of the trikes!


















Bev and Paul have been taking lots of photographs of the Gamekeeper's Lodge and countryside around the farm:
This is our  front garden:

And this is our back garden:

We told you it was remote!

Winter is indeed upon us!

Wow, we had lots of snow overnight and now there is a blizzard outside!  Bill and I decided to play outside in the snow this morning - we had a snowball fight, built several snow bears, built an igloo and played inside it, then came back indoors when we got cold and wet.  But what fun we had - here is a photograph of us outside:

Snow, snow and more snow!

Yup, it's that time of year again, with lots of snow, freezing temperatures and high winds, creating blizzard conditions!  Phoebe and Bill were very excited and headed off into the snow looking for seals, while Tony and I snuggled up in bed to keep warm!  Who wants to eat some cold rubbery seal when you have sizzling hot pizza or juicy burgers!  Kitty agreed with us and stayed indoors too.

Here is Kitty outside in the snow - he is clearly not a happy cat, though I wouldn't be happy either if the snow was up to my oxters and making my tummy wet!

Kitty went out briefly this morning, but when Bev opened the door 10 minutes later, Kitty flew in the door and skidded along the tiled hall floor until he reached the carpet in the lounge!  We're not sure if his little feet were frozen or just covered in snow, but he looked relieved to be back on terra firma!

Pinch, punch, first of the month and a heavy frost!

Pinch, punch, first of the month, no return rabbit - it's December.  And not only is it December, it is only 24 days until Santy Claws visits with all our presents!   Yipee!

And as if by magic, we woke up to a heavy frost this morning.  Both Bill and Phoebe love this colder weather (both being polar bears) and they have started drooling at the thought of some fresh seal to eat - not sure where they are going to get fresh seals in Hertfordshire but perhaps the supermarkets sell seal in batter or seal fillets.

Talking of seals, we spotted "haddock loins" in the supermarket.  Now I thought that loins were part of your legs, and the last time I looked at a haddock it didn't have any legs.  So, either haddocks have tiny legs and even tinier loins, or we need to phone the Standards people about misleading advertising.  Has anyone ever eaten haddock loins, and how many do you need to fill a fat little bear's tummy?

The Day the Circus Came to Town

Much to our enjoyment, Zippo's Circus has come to town, giving Tony and us bears the chance to perform and beat the winter boredom blues! Tony of course is an expert, having won medals at the Olympics in China, but we bears are less-experienced so were happy to try anything that didn't involve heights or dancing - anyone who suggests dancing bears to me does so at their own peril, although I am ok about it as long as it doesn't involve chains or a pierced nose, and the music is half-way decent :-)

So, we've all had a great time - Tony has wowed everyone with his acrobatics, and Bill and I have tried to amuse people by being clowns (so nothing much has changed really). The circus is here until the 17th of March, giving us plenty of time to improve our skills. Talking of skills, we found Bill in the airing cupboard last night doing something with a ladder and some ladies' underwear - hopefully this was an act for the circus and not something dodgy for a he-bear's magazine! We'll let you know.....

Coughs and sneezes....

OMG, what a week we bears have had! BOTH Paul and Bev had colds and coughs, and Kitty had fighting wounds, so we bears had to tend to all of them. Paul coughed so much that some of us - Bev, Hamish, Phoebe, Tony and Kitty - moved downstairs and slept in the lounge so that we could at least get a few hours of uninterrupted sleep. Bill stayed with Paul and mopped his fevered brow.

And poor Kitty had wounds on his ears, blood matted in his fur and blood was also splattered up the front door, the doormat and the side of the car! Gosh, he is an impressive fighting cat, but he really does need a suit of armour to protect him just like our hero Iorek Byrnison, the armoured bear in His Dark Materials by Philip Pullman!

Grizzly's

As the weather was rather nice last weekend, we persuaded Bev and Paul to treat us to a gut-buster breakfast at our favourite eatery, Grizzly's! Here is a photograph of us outside Grizzly's cafe.

We all had a great breakfast, though we bears rather overdid the "gut-busting" bit - we had to lie down for the rest of the day to recover.

Poo website

As mentioned in my previous posting, I have just found the Smelly Poop website (http://www.smellypoop.com/), which contains some "interesting" facts about poo (or keech if you are from Glasgow). Scarily enough, on the website you can purchase a poo calendar (showing a different piece of crap every month!), a variety of fake poos or greetings cards with photographs or drawings of poo! And as if that isn't weird enough, you can upload photographs of your own poo to create "personalised" greetings cards!

Ok Bill, let's find the camera, go to the loo and create our Christmas cards!

What has Mabel done?

Following on from my rants about spam, I found a surprising message in my junk mail folder today. Yes, it was an email from Paul's mum - Mabel (mabel@viagra.com) - trying to sell me viagra! It's amazing what octogenarians get up to these days - at least we now know how she supplements her pension!

Viagra

Last week I received emails telling me how to make my bear tool thick and long, and this week I am being told how / where to buy viagra online! I have received 10 viagra emails this week alone! Are these people trying to make me feel inadequate? Are they trying to give me a complex about my crown jewels? I have some advice for them - BOG OFF AND LEAVE ME ALONE, OTHERWISE I WILL SEND TONY THE CHIMP AROUND TO GIVE YOU A GOOD KICKING!

Junk emails

Well, it would appear that even little bears are not immune from junk mail - last night I received an email from some dimwit entitled "Make Your Man Tool Thick and Long"! If you are going to send me junk emails, can you please get it right? It should be "Make Your Bear Tool Thick and Long", and anyway I DON'T NEED YOUR HELP! I may be small and furry, but I am a well-endowed little bear!

Nipples

Ok, so Bev came home from work yesterday to find all us boys, including Paul, with our shirts off and measuring tapes in our hands / paws. I know it sounds dodgy, but what were we doing? We were actually measuring the distance between our nipples! Paul had heard on the radio that the distance between a man's nipples is always 11 inches, so we measured him and it is UNTRUE! Paul's are 9 inches apart, mine are 4 inches apart and so are Bill's. It just goes to show what rubbish you hear on radio!

Now, where is that tape measure and I will check how far apart Phoebe's nipples are. Ouch, no Phoebe, don't hit me! HELP!

Northumberland trauma

Bev, Phoebe and Hamish drove up to Northumberland on Thursday as Bev had a meeting with a customer and Hamish wanted to treat Phoebe and himself to some pampering at the hotel. They stayed at the same hotel as before - a beautiful old building set in acres of woodland, with a swimming pool and beauty salon.

Hamish and Phoebe went out to play in the woods and scare the golfers, while Bev decided to relax in the hotel room. Unfortunately, the room was hot and stuffy, and any benefits from the pampering sessions were totally ruined when the fire alarm went off at 4am! Bev ran around like a headless chicken getting dressed and trying to work out how to save Phoebe and myself, but we sent her off to reception while we climbed out the open window and hid in the woods. Poor Bev had to sit for an hour in reception along with all the other guests until the firemen turned up and switched off the alarm. By this time, Bev was wide awake and couldn't get back to sleep, so we all sat up in bed drinking coffee and chatting. Phoebe was grumpy because her dress got wet in the woods and her sleek fur had gone frizzy in the rain, but otherwise we were all safe and well, and at least none of us had gone up in smoke!

Trip up north

In my frenzy over Frankie's new car, I completely forgot to mention my trip "up north" with Bev to see a customer. We drove up north in glorious sunshine, singing along to music on Bev's iPod, and then we picked up Keith (owner of George, the cat with jaws of steel) from the railway station before heading off to our hotel.

The hotel was a beautiful old building set in acres of woodland - it was perfect for a bear like me! While Bev and Keith went for a meal and chatted about work, I played in the woods, had a massage in the spa, and ate a yummy meal in the hotel room. Then it was 8 hours of the big zeds until it was time for a dip in the pool and a scrummy breakfast!

Our trip home was a bit of a squash because Keith insisted on sitting in the front seat, so I had to sit on his knee! But once we dropped Keith off, I had the passenger seat all to myself, and Bev and I listened to some more music and books on the way home.

So, apart from the yummy food, massage and excellent hotel, what was the highlight of the journey north? It was seeing the Angel of the North, which is very impressive!

And where did we go? Well, that's still a secret, but all will be revealed in time.......