Uh oh, Phoebe - Vampire Slayer!

Phoebe has been so impressed by two characters from our recent bedtime stories - Lisbeth Salander from The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo and Dr Van Helsing from Dracula - that she wants to be a vampire slayer when she grows up!  Scary or what?

Question - can you use a taser on a vampire and what would it do (the taser, not the vampire)?
Answer - we don't know but Phoebe intends to find out!

Phoebe does "Halloween"

Phoebe does "Halloween", a photo by Bev & Paul Mynott on Flickr.

Phoebe has dressed up for Halloween, wearing Tony's skull and crossbones hat and matching orange top. She thinks it makes her look scary but we think the outfit just makes her look cute. Who could find Phoebe scary, especially with those beautiful ears poking out the side of her woolly hat?

The bears and Tony enjoy the warm weather

Teddy Bears' Picnic, a photo by Bev & Paul Mynott on Flickr.

Us bears and Tony went to Ashridge Park for a picnic as the weather has been so warm and sunny. We took sandwiches, lashings of ginger beer, a box of profiteroles and crisps - scrummy! We then had a snooze before playing in the woods!

Enjoying the spring weather or X-Factor, Bear-style?

Enjoying the spring weather or X-Factor, Bear-style?, a photo by Bev & Paul Mynott on Flickr.

The bears and Tony enjoying the beautiful spring weather, or being X-Factor judges Simon Cowell, Louis Walsh and Cheryl Cole! Who they are judging?  I don't know, but simon looks asleep and Cheryl looks bored!

Snow, snow and more snow!

Yup, it's that time of year again, with lots of snow, freezing temperatures and high winds, creating blizzard conditions!  Phoebe and Bill were very excited and headed off into the snow looking for seals, while Tony and I snuggled up in bed to keep warm!  Who wants to eat some cold rubbery seal when you have sizzling hot pizza or juicy burgers!  Kitty agreed with us and stayed indoors too.

Here is Kitty outside in the snow - he is clearly not a happy cat, though I wouldn't be happy either if the snow was up to my oxters and making my tummy wet!

Kitty went out briefly this morning, but when Bev opened the door 10 minutes later, Kitty flew in the door and skidded along the tiled hall floor until he reached the carpet in the lounge!  We're not sure if his little feet were frozen or just covered in snow, but he looked relieved to be back on terra firma!

Pinch, punch, first of the month and a heavy frost!

Pinch, punch, first of the month, no return rabbit - it's December.  And not only is it December, it is only 24 days until Santy Claws visits with all our presents!   Yipee!

And as if by magic, we woke up to a heavy frost this morning.  Both Bill and Phoebe love this colder weather (both being polar bears) and they have started drooling at the thought of some fresh seal to eat - not sure where they are going to get fresh seals in Hertfordshire but perhaps the supermarkets sell seal in batter or seal fillets.

Talking of seals, we spotted "haddock loins" in the supermarket.  Now I thought that loins were part of your legs, and the last time I looked at a haddock it didn't have any legs.  So, either haddocks have tiny legs and even tinier loins, or we need to phone the Standards people about misleading advertising.  Has anyone ever eaten haddock loins, and how many do you need to fill a fat little bear's tummy?

Naked Housework? Part 2

Ok, Phoebe says Neil can't be hunky coz he didn't include a photograph of himself on the flyer we received - she got excited at the thought of a photograph of him in just a pinny, but was disappointed by some arty images of a dustpan and brush! 

SHOW YOURSELF, NEIL!  WE WANT TO SEE YOU IN JUST A PINNY! 

And if Paul looks prettier in just a pinny, he gets the job, including gardening in the buff!

Northumberland trauma

Bev, Phoebe and Hamish drove up to Northumberland on Thursday as Bev had a meeting with a customer and Hamish wanted to treat Phoebe and himself to some pampering at the hotel. They stayed at the same hotel as before - a beautiful old building set in acres of woodland, with a swimming pool and beauty salon.

Hamish and Phoebe went out to play in the woods and scare the golfers, while Bev decided to relax in the hotel room. Unfortunately, the room was hot and stuffy, and any benefits from the pampering sessions were totally ruined when the fire alarm went off at 4am! Bev ran around like a headless chicken getting dressed and trying to work out how to save Phoebe and myself, but we sent her off to reception while we climbed out the open window and hid in the woods. Poor Bev had to sit for an hour in reception along with all the other guests until the firemen turned up and switched off the alarm. By this time, Bev was wide awake and couldn't get back to sleep, so we all sat up in bed drinking coffee and chatting. Phoebe was grumpy because her dress got wet in the woods and her sleek fur had gone frizzy in the rain, but otherwise we were all safe and well, and at least none of us had gone up in smoke!

Hunstanton

When the humans were on holiday they decided to go for a ride in the new car and take us bears to the seaside. So, we all went to Hunstanton for the day. It was a gloriously sunny day, though a little chilly, but we all went down the beach and while Bill and I built a sand castle, Phoebe and Magnus lazed around soaking up the sunshine.

And here is our sand castle - is it not a work of art? We had such fun building it!

Here is our sand castle beside the cliffs at Hunstanton.

And afterwards, we all went back to the car to have a well-deserved picnic! Bev and Paul had to struggle to eat their lunch in the front of the car, while we bears used our picnic box - it has spaces for our bottles, sandwiches and crisps, though Little Ted is so small he had to sit inside the box to eat his lunch!

Valentine's Day in Penrith!

Ok, here I am with Phoebe, celebrating Valentine's Day at a posh hotel in Penrith! It was a wonderful day as the hotel is lovely, with a pool, jaccuzi and spa - while Bev was out visiting a customer, Phoebe spent the afternoon having her claws manicured and being pampered, and I lazed around the pool, then we had a lovely romantic dinner for two. Bev had her dinner in her room as she wanted us to have some quality time together. All in all, a very romantic Valentine's Day for the two of us.

The food was delicious - scrummy black pudding sausages and mash, chips and champagne! What more could two bears in love ask for? Well, we could have asked for a big, bouncy bed! And that is exactly what we had - you could have got Paul, Bev and about 12 bears in that bed, it was so big!!!

Business Trip with Bev

What a wonderful week I had last week - Bev had to go to Warrington on business, so she took me with her to a posh hotel for 2 days! And while she went out to see customers or worked on her laptop, I wandered round the hotel checking out the facilities, ate any tasty titbits I could find, used the gym and pool, and lazed around on the king-size bed. I had a great time, and Bev enjoyed having some company while she was away from home. The hotel was quite nice - perhaps I could take Phoebe there for a romantic weekend sometime soon. I think I need to pay her more attention, as Bruno seems to be spending a lot of time with her lately, and has taken to calling her his "love muffin"! Errr, Bruno, paws off - she is my girlfriend (and occasionally Bill's girlfriend too), so less of the Italian "love muffin" romantic sweet-talk!

Phoebe's new outfit

Hi, Phoebe again. Bev and Paul bought me yet another new outfit today - a pink skirt, semmit (vest to all those non-Glaswegians) and pink floral top with pink satin ribbons. The top wasn't my style really, and didn't fit very well, but the skirt matches my nice pink cardigan. The semmit is to protect my tibblers from the scratchy wool cardigan, and to keep me warm - all bears know that you need to eat a bowl of porridge every morning and wear a semmit to avoid catching colds!

Phoebe's new coat

Hi, Phoebe here again - Bev and Paul have been out shopping again, and very kindly bought me a new lilac winter coat. Bev has just taken a photograph of me modelling it. It matches my hair-band, and I can wear it with my jeans or other clothes, so is perfect.
The nice lady in Stirling told Bev not to spoil me, but I need new clothes - when I came to stay with Bev and Paul, I only had a summer dress, a pair of big knickers and a hair-band. A bearess can't live all year round in just one outfit! She needs a whole wardrobe of clothes!

Phoebe gets a new outfit

Here's a photograph of Phoebe in her smart new outfit - jeans, pink woollen top and a handbag. Doesn't she look smart? She thinks her bum and tum look big in her jeans, but we think she looks stunning. This is her "smart but casual look" for the racing, while her frock is for the summer and for dressier occasions.
Ok Bev, flex your plastic some more - this bearess needs a winter wardrobe, especially that coat with the paw muff!

Sartorial Help

Bev has found the "Dress Your Bear" website, which should satisfy even the most demanding bearesses when it comes to sartorial elegance! I have spotted a little Highland outfit for myself, and some lovely leopard-spotted boxer shorts for Hamish :-)
Ok Bev, flex that plastic and buy me a new outfit or two - I particularly like the Highland outfit and the winter coat with the paw muff!

Please Help

Please help me - Bev and Paul can't find me a new dress because I am so small! And asking Bev to make me one is useless - she's all fingers and thumbs when it comes to sewing (this is the woman who stapled the hem of her trousers rather than sew them!). I am 14" tall, with a 10" waist and a 13" tummy - stop laughing Hamish, you're a wee tumshie yourself!
What is a girl bear to do - I can't live for ever in one dress. It will get crumpled, dirty or torn (or all three), and what will I do then (sob sob).
If you know where I can get a pretty new dress to fit me, please let me or my humans know.

Our baby, Part 2

Hey, Hamish, Little Ted and I were just mucking you about! As if I'd want your baby - I'm a ladette kinda gal, remember? I like drinking, partying and stock car racing, not staying at home with a baby bear. I'd rather just be one of the lads than someone's girlfriend, though if either you or Bill want to woo me, I won't complain! Just make sure the wooing consists of lots of drink and food! 2 cans of cider and I'm anyone's. OOPS, I shouldn't have said that!

Our baby? I don't think so!

Errr, somehow or other, Phoebe has got it into her head that Little Ted is our baby because he is small and grey - a smaller version of me, in fact, though a little more worn than I am. She sits and cuddles him, and calls him our baby. No Phoebe, he is definitely not our baby - for a start, he is 7 years old (even older than me), and anyway, we are only girlfriend and boyfriend, and I am an old-fashioned kind of bear. Actually, we're not even exclusive girlfriend and boyfriend - you are also Bill's girlfriend. Girls! One minute she hits me because I make a sexist remark, and the next minute she wants my baby! HELP! Whose idea was it to get us a girlfriend??????

Call for an emergency meeting!

Ok, we bears have a dilemma, and it is up to chief bear, Hamish MacBear (in other words, me) to sort it out.
Bev and Paul have a holiday coming up in September, but they are not spending it together! Shock news, I know, but we'll just have to make the best of it. Stop crying Bill, and wipe your tears away Phoebe - it's not permanent, it's only while Bev studies for her exams, but we'll have to come up with a plan for both humans to have bears to comfort and care for them during that week.
Bill, you are a Chartered Care Bear, so I am sending you off to deepest, darkest Lancashire to look after Paul and his mum. We're not sending Little Ted after the fiasco in Stirling - this time he really would be missing in action with no chance of getting home. We just can't take that risk.
Phoebe, you and I will need to stay behind to look after Bev, who will be studying hard for her exams, so will require a higher level of care - she will need bears to comfort her and make her coffee, toast, soup and other goodies. Since I'm the supervising bear, that rules me out - Phoebe, it's down to you to do all the caring work and make Bev's meals, while I track Bill's movements and errr.... catch up with my sleep. No, Phoebe, it's not because you're a girl that I expect you to care for Bev, but that does help. NO PHOEBE, DON'T HIT ME, PLEASE! OUCH!
Ok Phoebe, I'll look after Bev. You can put your feet up and watch some TV. Could you pleeeeeease get me a steak for my black eye?
(Bear Tip No 2: never make the mistake of thinking a girl bear is just a pretty face)

Hi from Phoebe

Hi, it's Phoebe here, posting in Hamish's blog. I'm settling in quite well with Hamish, Bill and the other bears, and looking forward to my first time at the racing tomorrow and Sunday. Bill and Hamish are collecting their Frankie t-shirts tomorrow (paws crossed the t-shirts are ready, otherwise Hamish will get very cross). They didn't order me anything, though Hamish has offered to buy me a Frankie thong! Sorry Hamish, but I'm a Bridget Jones kinda bear with big knickers, so NO THONGS!